


Agitha in Wonderland

by Sparks_of_Inspiration



Category: Alice In Wonderland - Lewis Carroll, The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms
Genre: Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Crossover, Fun, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-03
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:21:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26769418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sparks_of_Inspiration/pseuds/Sparks_of_Inspiration
Summary: Agitha, the young Princess of the Insect Kingdom(?), takes a trip down a rabbit hole to a land where everyone is as mad as she is.
Kudos: 2





	1. Down the Rabbit Hole

The people of Castle Town shuffled about sleepily as they relished in a beautiful golden afternoon. The sun was warm but not hot, the breeze cool but not cold, and the sunlight bright but not blinding; altogether, it was a perfect day.

Young Agitha, the Princess of the Insect Kingdom (or so she would say), was also taking advantage of the wonderful weather by venturing into the gardens just beyond the walls of the town. She was searching for her favorite insects among the many flowers that grew there, for what better way was there to spend a golden afternoon than with golden bugs?

She was not having any luck, however. She had found many bugs, of course, but none of them _golden_ , and what was the use of bringing a bug back to her ball if it wasn't glowing gold? (She loved all her subjects of course, but only special guests could be invited to her royal parties.)

After a length of time Agitha plopped down onto the cobblestones, her parasol rolling loosely on the ground beside her. She was beginning to get very discouraged and didn't much feel like looking for her golden insects anymore if all it would accomplish was making her sad. She tried to think of something else she could do while in the garden to lift her spirits before the day was done.

"Perhaps I could make a daisy chain," she said to herself, "but oh...they don't grow daisies in these gardens here, they only grow wild in the field...which is all the way over there...then again, I _do_ love a chain of daisies..."

A flash of pink darting by startled Agitha out of her musings, and she quickly turned her head in its direction to try and catch a glimpse of what it was.

"Oh!" she giggled, "it's just a silly little bunny!" But then it occurred to her that she'd never heard of a rabbit having a pink coat, let alone seen one. After that realization she simply _had_ to know more about the strange fellow; she didn't speak bunny, but she was sure she could learn, if only she could catch up to him!

Grabbing her parasol and jumping to her feet, Agitha ran as fast as she could after the pink rabbit, calling "Oh, Mister Bunny! Mister Bunny!" all the while. The rude little rabbit only seemed to run faster, which Agitha found to be a very inappropriate way to behave toward a princess. Fortunately for the pink bunny, she was a very loving and merciful ruler, and planned to pardon him the instant they met.

The rabbit darted into a hole and Agitha halted. Was it really a good idea to follow after him into the hole? It must have been his home, after all, and it certainly wasn't proper manners of a princess to go barging into someone's house unwanted and uninvited. But the rabbit _had_ ignored her, after all, and if she were to pardon him for his rudeness then it was only right that he should pardon her for the intrusion in return. At this thought, Agitha nodded to herself and crawled in.

She was very grateful she had a parasol. It was so dark in the rabbit hole, especially with her skirts blocking the light from the entrance, that she couldn't see anything in front of her. She had figured that she'd eventually reach the end of the tunnel and feel the bunny's soft pink coat under her hands, but instead when she reached the end she felt nothing at all and found herself falling straight down a seemingly endless shaft. Agitha quickly opened her parasol then, slowing her descent into a gentle float and giving her time to admire all the antiques and oddities that were stored in the walls of the hole. There were many bottles, some filled with potions and some long since used; a great variety of beautiful magic rings; a great deal of instruments, from organ to triangle with many ocarinas in between; and many tools and weapons, such as swords and shields and slingshots and shovels. 

"What odd things for a bunny to have," Agitha said to herself, "I don't know how he could use them! I shall have to ask him about it when I meet him! At the very least, he must be a busybody bunny!" And she giggled at her own clever use of words.

Finally her feet landed on firm ground, and Agitha found herself face-to-face with the very fuchsia rabbit she'd been following. He looked shocked, as if he had been absolutely sure he had lost her. He stared at her with wide eyes for only a moment before darting off into the darkness once again.

"No, wait!" Agitha cried, chasing after him once again, "please, Mister Bunny, wait!" 

But he was already gone.


	2. The Hall of Tears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Agitha hopes to find golden bugs in the beautiful garden she can see through the tiny door.

Though Agitha tried her very hardest, she could not keep up with the pink rabbit, and soon found herself alone and gasping for breath in a great big hall of doors. Some of the doors were very simple and square, some were colorful and cartoonish, some were dark and detailed, some were a blend of both, and others were strangely angular, like vegetables that had been peeled by an inexperienced carver.

"Well," said Agitha once her breath finally caught up to her, "unless I suddenly learn how to fly, I can't go back the way I came. That means the only way to go is through one of these doors, and I don't very much care which one it is if it gets me somewhere. Though, I must say, there is an awful lot more to rabbit holes than I thought there was." She looked up and down the great big hall in admiration of the little pink bunny's work, then gave an approving nod before walking over to the first door to her left. To her disappointment, it was locked. She tried the next one and found that it was _also_ locked. And so was the next one. And the one after that. And all the doors all the way around the hall until she came to the very last one, which opened up to a small dark chamber with nothing but a small brown chest inside. Agitha groaned in frustration.

"I don't care which door leads me somewhere, but I _do_ care if a door leads me nowhere! Whatever am I supposed to do?" she pouted, stomping her foot. She gave a royal look of disapproval at the little brown chest so that it might apologize for not being of any help. The chest stubbornly stayed silent.

With nothing else to do, Agitha bent down and opened the little chest up. She removed from it a small key which she slowly turned over in her hand. As she did, a sudden realization dawned on her.

"Oh!" she exclaimed in delight, "this must open one of the doors! Thank you, little chest, you are much forgiven." And she gave the little brown chest a loving pat before she turned back toward the great big hall of doors. 

An indignant scoff echoed off the walls when Agitha discovered that the door the key opened merely led to another small chamber with nothing in it but a meager oil basin, a dead lantern, and seven sconces, all unlit save for one. 

"How am I supposed to get somewhere now?!" she cried, "there isn't even a key to another door in here! Oh, this is no good at all!" and she slumped down to the floor with her arms crossed as she pouted again.

"However will I get home now?" she groaned, quieter now, "my guard knows that I am out for the day, but if I should not return he would never be able to find me! It's not as if I make a habit of chasing rabbits into their holes...and speaking of things that hop, what about Grasshopper? What if he comes back with a golden bug he's found and I am not there to receive him? Oh, what a puzzlement I've gotten myself into! If only Grasshopper were here to help me figure things out...he's very good at puzzles, you know." Neither the basin, the lantern, nor the sconces knew, so they stayed silent, as inanimate objects are wont to do.

"Wait!" Agitha abruptly shouted in excitement, "puzzles! That's what this is, it's a puzzle and I've got to figure it out in order to press on! Oh, now I REALLY wish Grasshopper was here; but, as he is not, I shall have to work it out on my own! So, first things first, I need to be able to see what I'm doing, so let's put all these lazy sconces to work!" and she picked up the dead lantern and filled it with the oil in the basin. With the sconces being so high up on the wall she found it necessary to climb on top of the basin to stand, however improper and un-lady-like it was. She held the dead lantern up to the flame of the one lit sconce in front of her and it quickly sprang to life again; the only problem now was how to reach the other sconces all around. If only she could extend her arms at will to any length she wanted...

But she _could_ extend her parasol! Agitha giggled at her own silliness for not thinking of it sooner. She easily attached the lantern's handle to the end of her umbrella, and with one swift spin every sconce was lit. 

The puzzle was solved before Agitha even knew it had begun as light gathered in the center of the chamber just in front of the basin, quickly forming into the shape of a chest. She hopped down to the floor and went to open it. 

"This chest is bigger than the last one, and quite a bit more ornate. And inside--oh! So is the key! Why, it's actually quite heavy! But I shan't have to carry it for long: all I need to do now is to find the door it opens and be on my way, simple as that!"

It was not as simple as that. None of the doors gave way to the key, even after Agitha tried them multiple times. In a panic she began to run around the edges of the room, frantically trying to figure out what puzzle she had missed. The only thing that stopped her physical and metaphorical spiraling was her falling face-first onto the floor after her foot got tangled in the folds of a curtain that hung from the wall. She lay where she fell in stunned silence, her tired panting the only sound she made. The coolness of the tiles calmed her frenzy, and the solid sturdiness of the floor helped orient and ground her. 

When Agitha finally turned back to untangle her foot from the cloth, she discovered that she had accidentally uncovered a secret door. It was awfully small, but its handle was bigger than that of all the larger doors. 

"Well, it certainly _looks_ like it could fit such a big key. Let's give it a try!" Agitha said, and to her great delight the door opened. As she looked through it she saw the most beautiful garden she had ever seen in her entire life.

"How many bugs must be in there!" she mused excitedly, "why, I daresay even just the number of golden bugs should be in the thousands, and the rest of the bugs after that in the millions!" She paused for a moment and wrinkled her nose. "Is this where they've been all this time? Trapped behind this door? No wonder the poor things have had trouble making it to my ball!"

To her great dismay, Agitha could not fit her shoulders through the door, no matter how much she pushed and squeezed. Just as she sat down to pout again, a movement in the corner of her eye caught her attention. One of the previously locked doors had suddenly swung open, a dim glow coming from hall behind it. Giving a small groan of frustration, Agitha pushed herself to her feet and made her way down the newly opened passage.

There was nothing at the end but an old tree stump with a sign that read "Stand Here", both illuminated by a light from above with no visible source.

"Well that's a trap if I've ever seen one," Agitha said, "but perhaps it's a good trap, like the traps I set for my insect friends. Onto the stump it is!" and with that she stepped up onto the old tree stump.

She was met with the most curious feeling as the world around her rapidly began to grow, the ceiling flying high up into the sky and the walls giving her an increasingly wider berth. Within just a few moments the old tree stump had gone from a mere pedestal to a great wide stadium stage. With a squeal of delight Agitha flew across to the edge, nearly falling many times as she hurriedly scurried down the bark of the stump to the ground. Not only could she now fit through the door, but she, Agitha, the Princess of the Insect Kingdom, _was now the size of a bug!_

Her elated squealing continued as she ran back across the floor, this time a much longer trip, and did not stop until it was abruptly cut off when the tiny door once again refused to open. It wouldn't be so much of a problem if it were not for the fact that the key was now much the same size as Agitha herself.

"Perhaps if I could just take this back to the stump it would shrink down to my size, and that way I could pick it up much better," she said, and began trying to tug on it. "Perhaps if I just...maybe I could...If I pulled from here, maybe...oh, it's no use! I haven't got the right strength to move this key anymore. And what's more--if I _did_ shrink it, would it even still open the door anymore?"

As soon as she felt tears starting to form Agitha closed her eyes and shook her head, her pigtails whipping wildly on either side. "No! You ought to be ashamed of yourself, a dignified dignitary like you, crying over such silly things! There's an answer to the puzzle yet, you've just got to find it. For now, I need a way to grow big again, at least for the moment."

At that moment she heard a click and a creak, and when she whipped her head around in the direction of the noise she saw that another one of the doors had suddenly opened. Agitha smiled and nodded to herself, saying, "see? You've just got to stick with it, that's all!" And with her parasol held high she proudly strutted into the hall behind the new door. 

Inside she found another small chamber containing a treasure chest her size, inside of which was a funny-looking mask with a label that said "Wear Me". She brought it back over to where the key lay before putting the mask on.

It clung to her face with invisible claws, its tenacious grip sending immediate terror into her heart. She frantically scraped at the sides of the mask in a desperate attempt to remove it, but to no avail. She could feel the heat of its magic rapidly seeping into her body and coursing through her veins like the venom of a viper's bite, and her screams pealed throughout the great hall, whether out of fear or pain she could not be certain, until everything suddenly stopped as she felt something thump the back of her head. As she cautiously turned to see what it was, she discovered that it was none other than the ceiling.

Her breath coming in shaky gasps, Agitha gingerly knelt down and picked up the now miniscule key. It took quite some effort with her fingers now being so big and cumbersome, but she did eventually manage to unlock the tiny door once more, this time leaving the key in its path so that it could not shut again even if it tried to.

"There," Agitha said, not at all feeling as sure of herself as she had just a few minutes ago, "now that that's all settled, all I need to do is take off this mask and get small again." But though she tried every which way she could--pulling, scratching, smacking, commanding--she simply could not get the mask to come off.

Now she truly despaired. "However will I fit now? Oh, it's no use! It's just--it's just impossible!" And this time she did nothing to stop the tears that flowed down her cheeks, landing in great giant splashes on the floor below. The salty water from her mournful monsoon quickly built up until the great hall became one enormous sloshing bathtub.

A soothing sound suddenly graced Agitha's ears, and her sobs ceased for a moment from the surprise of hearing it. It was a song, gently and beautifully played on an ocarina somewhere in the waters below. She wasn't sure she'd ever heard such a comforting and calming melody ever before, and she looked all around below her to find the source. It was then she spotted (with no small amount of bewilderment) the pink rabbit from before, playing the ocarina as it strained to keep itself afloat with only its hind legs.

"Oh, Mister Bunny! Let me help you!" Agitha cried, and went to put her hand out for him when she felt the mask suddenly fall from her face. She rapidly shrunk once again and began to fall through the air, quickly pulling out her parasol to slow her descent. When she was close to the water she swiftly flipped it underneath her so that it became like a makeshift boat. 

She was tossed and twirled about on the waves, holding tight onto the parasol's pole. "I do wish I hadn't cried so much," she said miserably. There was a flash of pink amidst the waves and Agitha knew it was the rabbit trying to swim to safety.

"Mister Bunny, Mister Bunny, here!" she called, "swim over here and we can share my parasol!" And she continued to call encouraging things to him as he determinedly made his way closer and closer, when finally he reached the edge and she helped lift him into her little boat.

"I'm sorry I've gotten us into such a great deal of trouble," Agitha said to the pink rabbit, "that ought to teach me not to go prying about other people's business and barging into their homes uninvited, wouldn't you say?" But the rabbit did not respond, and was instead seemingly trying to paddle with his front paw towards the tiny door. Though she once again felt that she had been rudely ignored, Agitha supposed that escaping was a better thing to be doing in the given situation than talking, so she joined him in using her hand to row as well.

The tiny door was only open a crack, having tried to close again but being stopped by the key. The water leaking out of it created a current that, once they were caught in it, made rowing a great deal easier. Even so, once they reached the tiny door it would not budge in the slightest, leaving them to be repeatedly bashed and twirled against it. Water was splashing over the sides of the parasol and they were slowly starting to sink, so close to freedom and yet so very far away.

"Oh!" Agitha wailed, "I suppose I shall be drowned in my own tears! And that will be a very strange thing indeed! However, _everything_ is strange today!"

But once more a soothing melody from the ocarina caught her attention, though it was a different tune this time; this song sounded like a lullaby so sweet and so beautiful that she almost fell asleep even in that dire situation. The tiny door began to glow in response to the song until it disappeared completely, and both Agitha and the rabbit went rushing through it out into the bright light of the beautiful garden.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think Link is able to use the ocarina in his bunny form in the game, but this is MY fanfiction and I call the shots.


End file.
